Hmmm. Well, I have no idea what to say, so here is something I prepared earlier.
December 1980 - August 2007
James was the promising son of a twelve-fingered knife thrower and a performing midget. His parents, Theodore Melville Brown and Agatha Mole Brown were performing artists in a travelling circus that travelled the outskirts of major towns throughout England during the 60s and 70s. In 1980, when, regardless of physical improbability, Agatha miraculously fell pregnant she had to stop her act as half of The Tumbling Torelli Twins. Sadly, Agatha's replacement turned out to be very inexperienced and this lead to a tragic accident and the sad death of Agatha's previous tumbling partner. Following this Agatha felt she could no longer tumble, and retired from performing in the circus permanently. James grew up with the weight that he may have been responsible for the end of his mother's career.
Although growing up in a circus afforded James with a delightful childhood, James never really aspired to the dizzying heights of circus performing, and desired to go to university for higher learning. This angered his father greatly, whose greatest wish was that James would follow in his footsteps as a twelve fingered knife thrower. When his father caught him reading literature or science textbooks he would brutally beat James with soggy celery until the boy promised that he would go on to follow in his father's footsteps. James' only option to pursue his dream of a thankless, tied down desk job and a loveles marriage was to run away from the circus. James had the 2 extra fingers on his left hand surgically removed and never spoke to his parents again. After graduating from university he made known to a group of shocked friends the unusual delight he got from eating raw fish, sleeping on the floor, and bathing in a hand basin.
He was last seen in 2007 boarding a plane to Japan, has not been heard from since, and is now considered deceased.
Some truthful information: Grew up in Christchurch, New Zealand, and Perth Australia. Flunked High school, did it again, went to university and got a B.A.Double in English Literature and Linguistics, finished Uni in 3 years, did a one month CELTA course, got employed by the company that taught me to teach (Kaplan Aspect) and in turn spent the next 4 and a half years teaching English to foreigners and having a WICKED time learning about them and their countries. Decided that my life was so good that I was in danger of getting stuck in a rut, so applied for JET. Met my girlfriend in Christchurch, she returned to Kanagawa and I came to Okinawa, had some fun, interesting, dead boring and downright BIZARRE times in Oki, recently got married to my girlfriend, and just bought a car.
I'm sure I may have left something out, but hopefully it wasn't important.